THE LAST WORD

The other day I was thinking for a change instead of watching television, and came to the conclusion that I’ve never had an argument in Lake Havasu City, other than with my wife. I suppose age and maturity has something to do with this. Arguing takes energy and I have better places to use it like out in the desert or garage. My friends say that I’ve mellowed.

In my younger years, I found myself in heated discussions or arguments with family, friends, or perfect strangers a fair number of times. Perhaps two or three episodes a year to put things into perspective.

I’m not ashamed to say that I tried to have the last word when those type of conversations or disagreements came up, yet I wasn’t always successful. Dad was the same way—with my daughter seemingly following in our footsteps. I’ve never looked at having the last word as totally bad, because someone has to be that person, and it might as well be me.

In answering the two questions: why do some folks have to have the last word, and why did I choose to be this way on occasion, a small amount of research was undertaken on the subject. Some psychologists believe they have this figured out to a science. These professionals say it boils down to four distinct personality types.

Narcissistic personality is number one. Having egos that always need inflated, these folks have a constant goal to prove they’re better than anyone else. Not only do they have to have the last word, but they love to dominate a conversation as well.  I still wasn’t exactly sure what a narcissistic person was after reading this brief description, hoping the full elucidation didn’t fit my biological profile.

In a nutshell, a narcissist is someone with a sense of self-importance. They feel entitled and can only be around people who are important or special.  They’re preoccupied with power, success, and beauty. Arrogant is a common trait and they lack empathy for fellow man. They also must be admired. My slang definition for such is egomaniac.

The only trait out of all of those that I associate with me, is being around people who are important and special. Every one of my friends and family have those unique qualities.

Authoritarian personality is the second one. These folks like to exert their power, and have a righteousness to their opinions and beliefs. They’re very hesitant to give in to others where their opinions and beliefs are concerned. Stubborn and obstinate are part of their demeanor.

I definitely fit a portion of that description only where opinions and beliefs regarding religion and politics are concerned. There’s no changing my mind on either at this stage of life, and I won’t argue the reasoning why. In other words, I believe I’m totally right regarding both viewpoints and it’s Biblically driven.

Dominant personality is number three. These individuals seek to control everything and anything they’re involved with, including their friends and family members. They want to be in a position of power. The word I’ve always used for such people is: power freak. I definitely don’t fit that category, trying hard just to be an ordinary average guy.

Competitive personality is number four on the list. These folks are competitive by nature, and feel the need to flaunt their intellect around. Where debates and discussions are concerned, they see them as playing fields to prove their intellectual superiority and expertise. Ultimately, if someone has the last word or the final word in a discussion, argument, or disagreement, they see that person as the winner. I’m definitely competitive, but not where intellect is concerned, so I stay out of those games.

The biggest discoveries during my limited research were both logical and ideological:

1. Most people do like to have the final word, yet don’t push as hard as others to get there. Some are passive while others are aggressive in procuring it. Others just give up from the start.

2. Wanting the last word isn’t always a mental disorder—it’s more human nature than anything.

3. Never attempt to have the last word with your wife, boss, or a policeman, because you’ll lose each and every time.

4. We may make our plans, but God ultimately has the last word. Proverbs 16:1

5. There are some that’ll disagree with that last point, yet time will eventually prove them wrong.