I like to write junk…

Having water in the desert is just as important for survival as astronauts needing spacesuits when they venture outside their capsule or the International Space Station.  Without those suits, a fragile human would lose consciousness from lack of oxygen, and then they’d die within two minutes from asphyxiation.

Going without water in the desert wouldn’t kill you that fast, but if the outside temperature was around 100 degrees Fahrenheit, death could occur between 12 and 24 hours later, according to online data sources.

I keep a bowl of water in front of our house, with the irrigation system continually pumping water into it each morning.  My garage has at least a dozen cheap bowls inside, bought at Walmart, since they tend to develop algae every few months. Instead of washing things out, I simply replace them.

Birds mainly drink the water, with stray dogs on occasion and an occasional coyote. Quail are frequently seen using a tiny pond in our backyard. The plastic line feeding our bowl is quite thick and hard to cut even with a razor blade, but every few months, I find it mysteriously chewed in half. My guess is a roadrunner, although I’ve never seen one in the act. They do drink water from that bowl.

While out in areas known for desert bighorn sheep, I’ve seen rainwater traps, with residual water going into a tank or tanks for sheep and other wildlife to use. Bees especially like the life-sustaining water.

Water bottles do the same for me when I’m hiking or riding in side-by-side UTVs with friends. We now always carry an extra gallon of water in our vehicle for emergencies, after rescuing a fellow and his dog years ago from a desolate spot on Highway 95. I believe they both appreciated H2O more than the ride to a gas station at the intersection of Interstate 40.

I ran into a similar situation here in town before that. My car broke down on 95, and I was waiting for a wrecker. The temperature was well over 100, and I’d finished off the cup of melted ice left over from a soda. Starting to feel a bit woozy, I called our police department and asked if any officers were near my location and if one could toss out a bottle on the way by.

I’ve since forgotten the policeman’s name, but he stopped and handed me a couple of iced bottles from the trunk of his car. I made sure to thank him and donate cases of water to the department. I’m sure I’m not the only person in this desert town who needed this type of assistance.

I believe grocery stores once had a program where people could donate water to the LHPD and other agencies, but I haven’t seen any mention of it in a while. If those quail and other birds swinging by our place for a drink could talk, I’m sure they’d say, “Thank you, Mr. Hankins, for the water, but a chunk of ice would go a long way in making it colder!”

A person must draw the line somewhere when it comes to helping them out. The Maverik convenience store is only a few wing flaps away. If they want iced water or other cold beverages, they’ll simply have to walk in and get it like the rest of us. I’m sure beer is off-limits, since the store requires ID.

Some of those inbred pigeons already fly so haphazardly that I often wonder if they didn’t place their beaks into some overly ripe fruit. We’ve had a couple of near misses this year alone by those less-than-stellar flyers playing chicken with our vehicle. It’s only a matter of time…!

For the last several years, I’ve designed our Christmas cards in advance with a humorous motif. I have this year’s 2026 cards already made out, in stamped, addressed envelopes. They were constructed in July two years ago. Hopefully, no one moves between now and December.

My wife chastised me for already placing postage on them, but we saved money because the sticky little squares have only gone up maybe a couple of times since then. Why don’t they just make stamps a buck apiece, since that seems to be the postal department’s ultimate goal.

For Christmas 2027, I had Miss Purdy, my AI (artificial intelligence) helpmate, design me a photo of the London Bridge in Lake Havasu City lookin’ as if it was the year 1927. If that was possible, the bridge would’ve been in town for 100 years instead of 57. Imagine that.

This AI-generated postcard reads: Welcome to Lake Havasu. Vintage Ford Model T and Model A vehicles are crossin’ it with people wearing period-correct clothing. Walgreens here in town printed off enough of the ‘postcards’ to send to most people on our list. I don’t mail these unique cards to everyone, as some family and friends don’t get my strange humor. Imagine that.

Last year’s card had Joleen and me sittin’ on the front bumper of our Jeep in July while wearing Santa hats. It was 100 that day, and, not having a tripod at the time, I used a step ladder and a roll of tape. This was done in Kingman, or it would’ve been 110 Fahrenheit here in town.

AI can create photographs not only from the past but also from the future. They’re getting much more realistic-looking than just a year ago. With so many antique vehicles parked in garages, it wouldn’t be hard to replicate my postcard by featuring people dressed in vintage swimwear walking on the bridge with those automobiles and trucks. String bikinis and Spandex wouldn’t quite cut it.

I’d love to see this scene replicated, but it’d take more energy than I can muster. I heard that getting all those Chevrolet Camaros organized for “Camaros on the Bridge” takes some organizing. Perhaps twenty years ago I’d undertake such a fun project.

When my Christmas 1927 cards are in the mailbox, I’ll end my unusual holiday tradition by attempting to create what the London Bridge will look like in 2127. That’s a little over 100 years down the road. Something tells me that flyboards and flying vehicles will be a part of everyday travel then; perhaps even “Beam me up Scotty” will be reality instead of just fantasy. As the age-old cliché goes, “Only time will tell!”

Remember, Christmas is only something like 138 days away.