SPIT & SPUTTER

“I’ve never come across any Amish people attending a car show and probably never will.”

“Ole Blue”

Run to the Sun is here, and for the second year in a row, “Ole Blue” is going. Hopefully, the truck arrives under its own power instead of via a tow hook. I generally only drive the rusty Chevy twice a year, with it parked the majority of time in my garage gathering dust. Sometimes it’s nice to just sit in the cab with a cup of coffee and think about those airmen that once sat behind the wheel. They’d all be in their 80s now or older if still alive.

“Ole Blue” is a 1950 Chevrolet—former USAF pickup. The vintage “Follow Me” truck basically looks the same as when I discovered it on a horse ranch in Alta Vista, Kansas. Last year it backfired and sputtered all the way to and from Bridgewater Links Golf Course because of bad fuel. Talk about embarrassing. I made sure to drain and refill the gas tank with fresh brew for this year’s automotive extravaganza.

Good things already happened to me on the day I signed up. As usual, not having greenbacks in my wallet besides a slew of credit cards, I needed ten dollars cash to pay for reserved parking. A kind and very lovely young lady standing in front of me picked up the tab. I couldn’t thank her enough. You’ll definitely not find a better group of folks than car people!

My wife and I have been attending Run to the Sun going back to 1983. Living in Alaska, we planned vacations around the function and were never disappointed. There were times when the Havasu heat got to me, including allergies from golf course grass, but I persevered and kept on truckin’ always with a cold lemonade in hand.

I generally wore a Chicago Cubs baseball cap for style more than anything, always coming away with a sunburned neck. There’s nothing worse than trying to sleep at night in a hotel with your skin on fire. Aloe vera juice can only do so much soothing. Folks constantly asked if I was from Chicago, with me telling them I’d never been to Illinois, yet have always been a Cubs’ fan. Like the old truck, that blue hat is a good conversation piece.

Because the show is so close to Halloween, several years ago I dressed the part of an Amish farmer just for kicks. I’d grown a beard down to my chest back then adding further creativity to the ensemble. That authentic look got a lot of quick glances and whispering behind my back, some even sneaking a photo or two with their phones.

For those unfamiliar with the Amish doctrine, they generally don’t own motorized vehicles, yet can ride in one with a non-Amish driver. Horse and carriage is their standard mode of transportation. Although I did it as a joke, that was the first time I didn’t suffer a sunburnt neck thanks to the unique hat.

I’ve never come across any Amish person attending a car show and probably never will. It’s akin to seeing a U-Haul trailer being pulled behind a hearse, although several years back, my wife and I did witness this taking place on I-40 in Kansas.

The thing I won’t do again at a Run to the Sun or any other public event is wear a tee-shirt with “SEKURITY” emblazoned on front and back. The one time I did, folks came up asking all kinds of questions that I didn’t have answers to. It turned out to be a prank gone astray.

Joleen took a great shot of me wearing it while standing beside a row of Jack Pots portable latrines, arms crossed, posing as if I was watching over them. That was one reason I ordered the shirt to begin with, turning it into my own inexpensive Halloween costume.

The picture was then shared with family and friends at Christmas time and they got a kick out of it, actually believing that “Latrine Patrol” was my designated Run to the Sun duty. To this day some still do.

I’d love to see a show where on Saturday, attendees young and old dress up as zombies. That’d add a different touch to things with best costume awards given out by Relics and Rods. Some folks unknowingly look the part already, oohing and aahing at all the nice cars and trucks without watching where they’re going. I’m definitely part of that crowd.

This year you won’t find me sitting behind my vehicle like so many other attendees do. There’s a favorite tree near the Rotary Park entrance that Joleen and I like best. Being a former mechanic, there’s nothing better than a large shade tree to seek cover, having worked under a few as well. Hopefully, there’ll be plenty of lemonade on hand, because after looking at the weather report for Friday and Saturday, we’re going to need gallons.

That Amish hat with wide round brim, after being dusted off, will definitely make another Run to the Sun appearance. This time it’ll be put to good use in keeping my scalp from burning instead of just for grins. I’m sure that’s why the Amish prefer them over baseball caps. Unlike many of us, they’re smart enough to pick a hat for function over that of style.

The last day for this show is Sunday, with the grand finale that morning being a parade down McCulloch Boulevard. If you’re unable to attend yet hear a bunch of loud backfiring it won’t be “Ole Blue” this trip. Most likely, it’ll be another fellow’s rig with a sour tank of gas trying to spit and sputter its way home.

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Author: michaeldexterhankins

ordinary average guy

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