Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and our Butterball turkey’s still safe in the freezer. I just recently named him Tom. He’s been there since 2020, and will remain that way through 2023.
It’s not that my wife and I have become vegan or anything of the like, nor bow to the wishes of PETA (people for the ethical treatment of animals.) These folks are against Thanksgiving dinner where any kind of meat is served.
Our reason for not baking Tom has nothing to do with either. I calculated a couple of years ago that going out to eat for Thanksgiving was far cheaper than staying at home.
Not only do food items cost significantly more because of record breaking inflation, but combine that with the work involved in making a big meal quickly adds up. With the minimum wage here in Arizona $13.85 an hour, and calculating that it takes my wife a good six hours to prepare everything, including setting the table, her labor alone amounts to $83.10. That doesn’t include the electricity used for oven or stove.
My estimate for cost of a turkey and ham, sweet yams—no Thanksgiving dinner is complete without marshmallow covered sweet yams—green bean casserole with French onions on top, several packets of McCormick brown gravy, four large Yukon potatoes, a pack of Wonder brand Brown-n-Serve rolls, box of Kraft brand Stove Top stuffing, Dole salad mix, and an exquisite Patti LaBelle pecan pie from Walmart for dessert, complete with Reddi whip topping from a refrigerated spray can, easily tops $100.
Our preferred drink for Thanksgiving is several bottles of Martinelli’s non-alcoholic sparkling apple cider at $2.99 a bottle. Four bottles is approximately $12. The total for all required food and drink items is $112. Combined with labor for cooking the stuff we’re now up to $195.10 yet the real kicker’s still to come.
I’m the designated dishwasher, and since our GE dishwasher is temporarily out of commission, my fee for washing dishes is not much out of line with what a struggling dentist, realtor, lawyer, or plumber makes hourly on a slow day. I’d say that $150 is a good number. Split that in half because it’ll only take me 30 minutes to wash silverware, plates, pots, and pans. That brings the total up to $270.10 for a stay-home Thanksgiving meal.
This year, we’ll be going out once again and spend far less for a scrumptious smorgasbord at Shugrue’s, enjoying much more food than what Joleen would even care to make. Afterwards, washing dishes will be taken care of by someone else which takes a load off my aching shoulders. A good accountant would say that numbers alone dictate eating out is the best route to follow. There’s one additional thing worth mentioning about Turkey Day.
On Thanksgiving, President Biden will once again pardon some poor turkey, giving the bird a reprieve from someone’s dinner table. In a way, we’ve done the same for our 12 pound frozen gobbler. Unless Joleen decides to eventually clean the freezer out, it appears Tom will be safe for years to come.
I have to assume that PETA will be especially happy with this decision.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I like to write junk... 
Hello! I just wanted to say thanks for your book, “Ordinary, Average Guy”. My dad was stationed at Craig in the late sixties and early seventies as a jet engine mechanic, and he and I visited the remains of Craig when I was young. I live in Selma (doing local history at the library) and am always eager to hear stories of Selma in years gone by.
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Thank you so much! I love Selma! Always wanted to return and live there but that never came to pass 😦 So much history there and a real destination point for those wanting to experience such. I just noticed that Jones Trailer Park is now a RV park. Excellent move on someone’s part!
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Additionally, I noticed you contributed a piece to the STJ about Lt. Herndon. Did you find the exact article about his death? I can email it to you if desired. Unfortunately, when searching his name, I saw that he and his wife had lost a baby girl only a year or so before.
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Years ago I reached out to the Selma Public Library for that information and they sent it to me. Wrote a story for the “Selma Times-Journal” and they published it. The late Jean Martin at the newspaper worked with me on it. I no longer have a subscription or I’d send you the link. Kimberly Therese Herndon died only months before the crash. Mary Herndon lost her husband and child less than a year apart 😦
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I’m glad Ms Martin helped you! We lost her a few years ago. She was a treasure. I have a newspapers.com subscription myself. Out of curiosity, did you get to go to downtown Selma often back in the day?
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We did. Mom worked at the old Vaughan hospital so we’d go to town often to pick her up. I was always wanting to see the old houses as did Mom. Stayed one night or two nights in the St. James Hotel. It was an intriguing town for someone like me interested in the Civil War. Still remember my visits to Cahaba. Who would forget that spooky place 🙂
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