Certain things that I own will someday need to be passed on to family and friends. The statement, “You can’t take it with you!,” spoken by many people along the way, has been etched into my brain going back to the earliest years.
I don’t know how many preachers I’ve heard claim they never saw a hearse pulling a U-Haul trailer. Those ministers making this statement should’ve been with me in 2012, near Grinnell, Kansas, on Interstate 70. My wife and I observed just that.
It’s doubtful the people inside were driving to Heaven, Texas, because that place no longer exists as a populated community. It’s now a ghost town. There is a Hell, Michigan. The hearse was headed west so maybe these folks left Hell for Purgatory, Colorado?
I’ve got a few of my grandparent’s things that they didn’t take with them, and as far as I know didn’t try. I’ve been told some folks weren’t as smart, asking in their last will and testament for certain items to be tossed into the coffin before covered. I found the following story about one such man, printed within an online funeral-home directory. It might seem a bit farfetched, but in this day and age of greed and the love of cash, anything’s possible.
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There was a man who had worked all of his life and saved every dime he made. He was a real cheapskate when it came to letting go of his funds. He loved money more than anything, and before passing away, told his wife this.
“Now listen, when I die I want you to take all of my cash and shove it into my coffin. Who knows, I may need it on the other side.” Shaking her head in disbelief, the old woman reluctantly promised to do so. A year later – her husband died.
Stretched out all nice and neat in his casket, the man’s widow walked forward just before he was to be planted in the ground. She carried a heavy shoebox with both hands. Asking for an an undertaker in a pitch black suit to open the lid, he silently did, and the woman crammed this box in next to her late husband’s feet.
A close friend watched from a distance, knowing fully, the story behind this stingy husband’s unusual last request. Walking up quietly, the concerned woman gently hugged her friend before whispering, “I can’t believe you went through with this!”
Nothing was said for several seconds, before the widow, fighting back salty tears through muffled sobs, choked out the following choice words “I promised, and being a good Christian wife, I couldn’t renege on my word.”
The friend, shaking her head in disbelief, didn’t hold back thoughts on criticizing the friend any longer. “That box had to hold a lot of money. You’re as crazy as him!”
Somewhat stunned, but use to her friends blunt and open honesty, she quickly set the record straight.
“Henry collected marbles. That cardboard box held his lifelong collection. All of his money was put into my account on the way here and I wrote him a check. That check’s safely tucked inside his vest pocket.”
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Thankfully, I’m not as looney as that guy. I’d never put my wife through such an ordeal. My money is hers and vice versa. She can have all of it when I’m gone, along with other worldly goods. I do have one simple request. When no one’s looking, there are a few personal items I’d like tossed in before the lid’s nailed down. Those include a cordless saw, crowbar, shovel, and good flashlight with extra batteries.
I like to write junk... 