Like many guys, I’m not one to read and then follow instructions. A 1963 elementary school report card that my Mom kept and then passed on to me, shows 4th grade teacher Mrs. Hagan penned the following negative information in the comments section, “Michael does not follow directions.”
Most fellows don’t like to follow instructions — preferring to figure things out on their own by looking at pictures. Our caveman ancestors did exactly the same finding it much simpler than reading.
I recently purchased a motorized weed sprayer from Amazon and it came without instructions — along with missing several 5/16 inch nuts. Taking the large shipping box apart, I placed it flat on the garage floor, and was able to successfully put things together going by picture alone.
This was only accomplished after driving to Ace Hardware to purchase the missing pieces. Thankfully, that store is a little more than a mile away. During any summer projects, I’ve been known to make 4 trips there in one day alone. Oftentimes, it’s not for parts — as they have an ice cream novelty cooler as you enter the front door.
I ran calculations through my brain on how much weed preemergent is required for 31 gallons of water. One gallon came out as more than enough liquid. Making a 20-mile roundtrip to Tractor Supply for the product, I was all set until I decided to read tiny instructions barely legible on the gallon jug. Turns out I needed 184 ounces of juice, and of course, a gallon is only 128 ounces.
Back to the store I went, trading in this jug for a two-and-a-half gallon version, along with handing the cashier another $75.32. My wife suggested that I read the sprayer instructions on how to “dial in” the flow control before doing any spraying. I started to do so before becoming confused and giving up.
Attaching this towable spraying apparatus to the trailer receiver behind our Jeep, a switch was flipped on allowing the precious liquid to begin flowing. Having calculated in my head that 32 1/2 gallons of the mixture would easily cover 13,000 square feet of ground, I began driving circles, gradually moving towards the heart or center of this property. With 3/4 of the job complete, no more juice was hitting the ground.
With this taking place in Kingman, and my not wanting to go back before the job was complete, I decided to use up the leftover gallon of weed killer. It was mixed with another 20 gallons of water making for a total of 52 1/2 gallons of preemergent. Driving a bit faster this time there was barely any left in the tank when finished.
Once we were back home in Havasu, I took time to carefully scrutinize the mixture control instructions for my sprayer, finding that it was set way too high. Turns out I was putting down twice the weed killer recommended by the manufacturer.
With my wife giving me grief after hearing this regarding wasted money, in the back of my mind, I was okay with the mistake if you can even call it that. In the male way of viewing these simple miscalculations, more is always better.
More food, more drink, more horsepower, more solar panels, etc., are prime examples. I didn’t tell Joleen that I generally use the same formula when adding soap to our washing machine. When Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup is added to a glass of milk I go strictly by color alone. My wife doesn’t understand this madness because it’s a male trait although I could be wrong!
I like to write junk... 