Tag: mental-health

I’ve run into a few people these past few years who seem bitter at the world. Something as uncontrollable as the weather can set them off. I can’t really say that aging is the lone factor here, because some younger folks come across the same.

Twenty years ago, my daughter accused Joleen and me of being negative, especially when she rode with us in the car. Miranda was around 24 at that time. My wife and I sometimes openly vocalize at obstinate drivers, and our daughter heard us.

It’s merely part of our driving routine and a form of stress release. “Look at that idiot!” is the most common sentence. I recently heard from our grandson that his mom now does the same, especially after moving to the big city.

For the sake of this article, I’ll stick to older people getting bitter because I’m part of that generation. What causes some seniors to become ‘crochety,’ as many of my male friends jokingly call the symptom, is my research project of the week. I hope I never get to that point, and if I do, someone please poke me with a sharp stick.

Not being a psychologist, I had to cherry-pick information because there’s so much of it out there. Many of the medical terms were over my head, and I didn’t want to stop and look up every big word or lengthy term. A grassroots answer was all that I was looking for. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that simple.

As people age, their emotional outlook and personality can change in various ways. While many individuals grow older with grace, wisdom, and positivity, others may become bitter, resentful, or disillusioned. Understanding what leads to this transformation is important for fostering empathy and encouraging healthy aging.

• Unresolved Regrets: Accumulated regrets from missed opportunities, poor decisions, or unfulfilled dreams can weigh heavily over time. The inability to let go of these regrets may lead to bitterness.
• Loss and Grief: Aging often brings losses—of loved ones, health, or independence. If these losses are not processed healthily, they can foster resentment and a negative outlook.
• Disappointment in Life Outcomes: When reality falls short of expectations, some individuals struggle to accept their circumstances, leading to chronic dissatisfaction and bitterness.
• Personality Traits: People who are naturally pessimistic, rigid, or prone to rumination may be more susceptible to bitterness as they age.
• Social Isolation: Lack of meaningful relationships or support networks can make older adults feel lonely and undervalued, contributing to resentment.
• Ageism and Marginalization: Experiencing discrimination or feeling marginalized because of age can erode self-esteem and foster bitterness toward society.
• Financial Hardship: Struggles with money and economic insecurity in later life can create stress and frustration, sometimes manifesting as bitterness.

How individuals cope with life’s challenges plays a significant role in their emotional well-being. Those who practice forgiveness, adaptability, and gratitude tend to age more positively. Conversely, those who dwell on past hurts, resist change, or lack coping skills may become increasingly bitter.

It is possible to counteract bitterness with self-reflection, supportive relationships, and professional help if needed. Encouraging older adults to stay engaged, pursue new interests, and maintain social connections can help foster a more optimistic outlook.

Becoming old and bitter is not an inevitable part of aging. It is often the result of a complex interplay between psychological, social, and environmental factors. By understanding these influences, we can better support ourselves and others in achieving a fulfilling and positive later life.

Having read the secular opinion on bitterness and not understanding it all, I turned to the Bible to get the ultimate and more simplistic answer. Hebrews 12:15: Paraphrased, this verse tells me that bitterness can take root in the heart, causing trouble and defiling others, creating relational strife, and causing one to fall short of God’s grace.

God advises believers to rid themselves of bitterness and anger, favoring forgiveness and love to avoid becoming consumed by resentment. Having read that and totally understanding, should I ever become so bitter that I’m consumed by it, someone please poke me with two sharp sticks!