HEY MAN – IT’S DOPE

“But Mr. Hankins, whiskey and tequila are far worse on the body than cannabis.”

Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong

I recently read an article saying that some towns and cities are now allowing curbside sale of “cannabis products” during the Copid-19 pandemic. I had to laugh because this is nothing new.

Dope dealers and snake-oil-salesmen have been peddling their wares on street corners going way back. What’s even more humorous is that marijuana’s now referred to as cannabis. That’s a more politically correct definition. Back in the day, comedians Cheech & Chong referred to marijuana as grass, weed, and yes, dope.

Crafty marketing experts under the protection of new decriminalization laws, tout cannabis CBD oil as the cure-all for every ache and pain under the kitchen sink. One television commercial shows a person having an aching shoulder and neck. This young woman smears on a bit of reefer oil (CBD) and she’s magically healed. I’m surprised Flex-Seal guru Phil Swift hasn’t hawked this liquid as a spray on lubricant for loosening tight knee and elbow joints.

In Needles, California there’s a popular place where addicts legally get their product. The parking lot’s generally filled with patrons. A red-light in front of the joint (pun intended) allows me on occasion to briefly sit and observe lingering clientele. I see the same stoner crowd going in and out of the place that I remember from high school and college days. If a politician or some highfalutin citizen needs a marijuana brownie or a fix, I suppose they send in a flunky to make the purchase.

Advocates claim that cannabis products are badly needed by folks having cancer and other debilitating ills. I’m not saying it isn’t. Medical doctors along with certified pharmacies should be the folks doling it out. What we have though are shady businesses calling themselves of all things, dispensaries. Some even go so far as to refer to things in a medical capacity; generally a red cross highlighting their ad.

Those unfortunate folks having serious illness are but a very small percentage of citizens actually in need of weed. On the other hand, as my late father-in-law often said,

“Potheads will always be potheads!”

When I give my thoughts on this subject some pot advocate will invariably bring up alcohol.

“But Mr. Hankins, whiskey and tequila are far worse on the body than cannabis.”

These reefer experts conveniently avoid the marijuana word.

I have a well-rehearsed reply for them and it goes like this.

“We aren’t talking about alcohol, we’re talking about dope!”

That always lights their fire. I could add serious panache’ by finishing off my statement with the words, “you dope”, but thus far have held back.

A friend of mine recently purchased CBD oil to try on his aching back. The manufacturer guaranteed this salve would not register positive should a drug test be administered. My friend turned in an application for employment at a local prison after using the product. His drug test came back positive for THC. Tetrahydrocannabinolis, or THC, is the agent in pot that gives users their high.

Unfortunately, he was turned down for employment. When my pal reached out to the manufacturer about what went wrong, an agent told him he must’ve been drinking beforehand. The man doesn’t drink alcohol. What does alcohol have to do with testing positive for THC anyway?

Had he asked me beforehand about trying a marijuana derivative I would’ve said,

“No way Jose!”

Billions of dollars are being made in the cannabis industry. That’s one of the main reasons politicians allowed snake-oil peddlers to sell it. The other reason being, some people in this world have substance abuse problems, and persistent lobbyists went to work for them; at a steep price of course. Making dope legal to purchase and use keeps these folks out of jail.

I once had a young woman tell me to take a hike Mike when she heard my opinion on legalizing marijuana. I had similar parting words for her.

Sadly, there’ll always be people needing some kind of addictive substance to get them through the day. Yes, marijuana is addictive. If it wasn’t, Willie Nelson would’ve quit years ago.

I don’t like to judge cannabis users one way or the other. That’s their decision to make. I would like for them to admit one thing. What they smoke or toke is indeed dope.

Cheech & Chong will agree!

Snake oil salesman

Author: michaeldexterhankins

ordinary average guy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s