NON-ESSENTIAL OILS

Call me a skeptic, but whenever I see a Hollywood celebrity hawking products on television, red flags automatically go up. There has to be something in it for them, otherwise they wouldn’t waste their time.

My wife and her friends got sucked into the Essential Oils hoax early on. The company claims to have an oil for almost every kind of ill. Headaches, anxiety, insomnia, menstrual cramps, to name a few. Joleen got a bit peeved at me for calling them Non-Essential Oils.

“They work for some people!”, she said. I didn’t argue with her, knowing where that would lead.

Celebrities, Daphne Oz and Hugh Jackman, tout the virtues of Essential Oils. Not to be disrespectful, but I don’t know these people from Adam. Their opinion on oil means about as much as Bob the mechanic’s advice on grilling fresh vegetables. Bob doesn’t even own a grille! It seems somewhat haughty of Daphne and Hugh to believe that their name’s alone have selling power.

Shifty salesmen, years ago, traveled around the country in horse drawn wagons peddling cure-all elixirs; snake oil as it’s correctly called. These products consisted mainly of alcohol. If you drank enough your troubles went away for a short spell with a massive headache not far behind. In my way of seeing things, non-essential oils falls into this snake oil category except you don’t drink it. It’s purported magic comes from sniffing or rubbing on skin.

Another wacky product undocumented experts claim has healing powers is CBD oil. I suppose combining this stuff with non-essential oils will really work some magic.

Companies are making billions on CBD oil. Some outfits peddling the stuff falsely refer to themselves as medical dispensaries. I think it’s accurate to say that’s stretching things a bit. One so called dispensary in Needles, California had a red cross emblem painted on their building sign. That merely helps suckers buy into the validity of this reefer byproduct.

Big stores like Wal-Mart and Walgreen’s currently sell CBD based products. Before long, I look for Girl Scouts to add a CBD health cookie to their selection. That’s scary. My friend Jeff says that CBD stands for Consumers Being Duped. I have to agree.

If people want to spend their money on Essential Oils and CBD oil products that’s fine with me. For them to tell me they work, I’ll have to chuckle. Personally, I have no need for either.

There’s one oil out there that surpasses everything. The name alone says it all. Marvel Mystery Oil is perhaps one of the 10 top wonders of the world. This wonderful concoction of top secret ingredients has been around since 1923.

Marvel Mystery Oil may not soothe headaches or cure menstrual cramps, but it will free up frozen parts in an engine block like right now. Real men love the unique aroma. I do.

Hugh Jackman and Daphne Oz can brag all they want about about Essential Oils. Should these two ever use Marvel Mystery Oil, I believe they’ll see fit like many of us in the know, that the stuff ‘s a cure-all unlike any other and truly works.

I swear by the product. Coming from me, that should tell you everything you need to know!