A hundred bucks later, my tank’s full of gas.
Slapped on a credit card cause I ain’t got no cash.
Livin’ on convenience store grub and diet pop.
My colon’s ’bout to burst with the restroom locked.
*****
Out on the road with nothin’ but a wing and a prayer.
The Goodyears are bald, yet they still hold air.
Girlfriend was insistent that “Duke” and I hit the trail.
Diana stayed home for a pedicure and nails.
*****
My Boxer’s good company and is man’s best friend.
The poor mutt, however, ate rank chili and Spam.
Tootin’ and poopin’ in my Subaru back seat.
We drove with windows down ‘til rain turned to sleet.
*****
Thankfully, Comfort Inn allowed pets to stay.
Pity whoever cleaned carpet the very next day.
I didn’t even take time to grab a hot shower.
Smell was so toxic, it would’ve wilted flowers.
*****
Our final destination was New Mexico.
Chose a camping spot just outside Texico.
For two days and nights, we roughed it together.
Lived in a pup tent under inclement weather.
*****
On the drive home, two tires suddenly let go.
Took out both fenders, sailed off the road.
Ended up in a pasture with thirteen grazing cows.
Right next to a farmer’s old antique plow.
*****
Having no jack or spare, we sat and waited.
The wrecker never showed as I anticipated.
At some point, it came time to hitch a ride.
A man happened along; he was sky-high.
*****
Dog and I rode in the back of his old truck.
Bed filled with beer cans and cemetery stuff.
The fellow was a gravedigger with poor hearing.
Told me that dead stiffs were job-securing.
*****
After we’d left, my car burned to a crisp.
Subaru’s wiring shorted from hitting that fence.
“Duke” and I then thumbed it on to Santa Fe.
Spent the night at Motel 6 until ten past eight.
*****
It was now ripe time to make a big decision.
Took my VISA card, headed to Capitol Lincoln.
Charged the down payment, bought a black Aviator.
Celebrated at Wendy’s with two Baconators.
*****
When Diana finds out, she’ll probably flip.
Will regret having us take that camping trip.
No more frugalness for ole “Duke” and me.
From here on out, we’ll both travel in luxury!
I like to write junk... 