I’ve never held a grudge against someone that I know of, but have had a few crushes on people in my life, thankfully, always someone of the opposite sex. One of them involved a college-age girl who worked at a Pizza Hut in Spenard, Alaska. The year was 1970.
I don’t believe I was the only one taking a liking to her, as my friend Jeff saw the same merits in Tracy Turnbull as did I. We were just high schoolers back then, but this young lady talked to us with sincerity, knowing, yet not saying, that we were much too young for her.
Part of our intrigue was that Tracy told us her dad had taught her how to work on cars, and she didn’t mind getting grease under her fingernails. You would’ve never known it because she was the most beautiful girl with long brown hair. Jeff and I each saw her as a perfect girlfriend, yet there was no jealousy or competition between us.
We haunted Pizza Hit as often as our money held out, generally opting for the cheapest thing on their menu: splitting a ham or turkey sandwich. Water was our beverage of choice because it was free. There came a time when we both became terribly sick from food poisoning, a ham sandwich the culprit, no fault of Tracy’s.
I seriously thought about asking this gal out, that is, until we bumped into her in a Carr’s grocery store with her boyfriend. Jeff and I were riding bicycles that day. Knowing both of our names by then, Tracy introduced us to her fiancé as good friends. The guy was athletic and tall, and I believe on the University of Alaska – Anchorage basketball team. I saved myself some future embarrassment by seeing this.
A crush, unlike a grudge, is a strong but often short-lived feeling of romantic attraction or infatuation that someone experiences toward another person. Having a crush usually involves thinking about the person frequently, feeling excited or nervous around them, and admiring their qualities, even if the feelings are not reciprocated or openly expressed.
A grudge is a persistent feeling of resentment or anger toward someone, often due to a past incident or perceived wrongdoing. Holding a grudge means you continue to harbor negative emotions and refuse to forgive, which can affect relationships and personal well-being.
Letting go of grudges is important for emotional health and is often encouraged in teachings like Ephesians 4:26-27, which emphasize resolving conflicts promptly.
My wife once asked me why I held no grudge against a family member who had basically robbed me of a few thousand dollars. When I say robbed, I mean that I invested money with the person on the promise that I’d get it back. That never happened. I just took things in stride here, knowing better than to let it happen again. Afterwards, we still talked as if nothing had ever happened.
Going back to my teenage years, a crush could leave an almost exhilarating feeling, making me happy to be alive. Grudges, on the other hand, according to doctors and also the Bible, have negative connotations that can take years off a person’s life. Thankfully, I was wise enough to get the message early.
God tells those holding grudges to resolve their conflicts before the sun goes down. I’ve always done this, especially with my spouse and children, not wanting the stress from lingering conflict to prematurely age me and shorten my time with loved ones. It’s worked according to God’s plan thus far.
I’m not sure I’ll ever have another crush, at least not of the human variety. I did see a vintage unrestored truck at a local car show with a “for sale” sign in its front window—the brown patina immediately drawing my attention. Crush, lust, call it what you want. All I know is that I loved that rust!
I like to write junk... 