I’ll be first to admit that I don’t recall all the rules for English composition. There was a time I could fill in the correct blank on what a preposition is, but I haven’t a clue anymore. Any time I hear the word preposition I think of Preparation H.
I recently composed a short story and utilized actual numbers instead of writing them out. I know the English rules pertaining to such. Numbers 1 – 9 should be spelled.
In my story I was talking about a grocery checkout stand so imagery was important. Have you ever seen nine spelled out above a cashier? Me neither. It’s always number 9. I flushed the English rule on numbers down the toilet on that composition. That wasn’t the only time.
Sometimes I use singular apostrophes instead of quotation marks on word identification. Generally it deals with stories where much dialogue is used. It’s just something I do. I’ve been pulled over by the grammar police many times for improper punctuation.
The way I see things, if a reeder can raed what I worte then I”m sucesful. If someone wants to correct my English go for it. They’ll probably have a field day. Here lately I’ve become an expert at leaving double periods..
Years ago I entered an old vehicle in a car show. A friend and I worked on the Plymouth nearly 24 hours straight, getting things ready for the big event. The paint wasn’t fully hardened.
I was happy just to get it on the showroom floor. Later that day a fellow walked up to me saying,
“I see a flaw.”
He pointed out a tiny piece of pinstripe coming loose by the door. I thanked him then quickly pushed it down with my finger. That’s when the thought struck me. Not one word of praise came from the guy on the rest of my car.
As time goes by and my eyes get weaker I suppose I’ll be making more grammatical errors. Hopefully I won’t let it bother me. I found where the great author Samuel Clemens made simple writing mistakes. Other well-known authors did the same.
I don’t put myself in the same shoes as Mark Twain, but it’s good to know I’m in good company where typos and literary glitches are concerned.
One of my favorite television commercials is the one where a nerdy looking guy wearing black-rim glasses keeps asking,
“Can you hear me now?”
I’d like to say back to him,
“Can you raed this now?”
I like to write junk... 