I’m a cheese connoisseur. If simply eating cheese makes a person an expert on the subject, then I proudly wear that crown. Not to brag, but I know my way around grocery store cheese-coolers better than most supermarket managers.
My love of cheese goes way back to school days. Before my brother and I headed out the door, mom put slices of pasteurized American on white-bread, and then added bologna before sending us us off. Contained within a hot lunch box until noon, the golden-yellow-cheese melded to perfection with mayonnaise and processed meat. This popular cuisine had a unique aroma which I can still noseulize today.
Often times for dessert, classmates rolled portions of sandwich bread into dough balls with bits of American cheese inside. It’s a delicacy that most kids of this generation haven’t sampled. On many occasions after eating this stuff, a good laxative or enema was needed by weekend. Mom usually had me eat prunes or drink prune juice to ease the pain.
As I grew older, I began to appreciate the more exotic blends of cheese. Dad insisted that we always have Parmesan in the refrigerator for spaghetti. A can didn’t last long in our house. My brother and I sprinkled it heavily on buttered toast. Judging by the name, Parmesan cheese most likely originated in France.
Mozzarella was mom’s number one choice in making homemade pizza. This Italian-bred cheese has a unique stickiness that binds all other toppings together, much like a glue trap. Years ago, I bit into a freshly baked Calzone finding that the mozzarella was still at molten stages. The roof of my mouth shed skin for a week. I haven’t made that mistake twice.
Velveeta. What can I say about this luscious loaf of savory cheese! There’s nothing sweet’a than a box of Velveeta, especially in Mac-n-Cheese. Melted, it works well on nachos but please don’t add any Jalapenos. The unique thing with Velveeta is that it seems to last forever. There’s evidently some secret ingredients that keep it from molding.
Pepper Jack is another favorite. This cheese hasn’t been around as long as others. Swiss is perhaps the oldest. I recall the unique holes in Swiss cheese going back to my earliest years. Some boy once told me the holes came from mice. I believed him for several years. To this day, I still don’t know how they get there and really don’t care.
My cheese of choice at the moment is smoked Gouda. I absolutely crave chunks of smoked Gouda on Cheez-It crackers. The combination makes for a double-cheese-whammy as they say in the south. When I’m on the computer writing junk, I generally have a small plate of Smoked Gouda within arm’s reach of my mouse.
The last time my wife went to Smith’s grocery store, for reasons known only to her, she came back with Low Fat Provolone. That supposedly healthy cheese isn’t on my list of favorites. I jokingly scolded her,
“You should’a got Gouda!”
I’ve been told that eating too much cheese is probably not good for a person. I don’t know if that’s truth or fiction? An advertisement I came across the other day claimed that cheese is a good source of calcium for older people. I’ll definitely agree with that.
One thing that nutritionists don’t have to tell me, is that if you eat a lotta cheese, make sure and leave room for da prunes.
My mama taught me that years ago!