BIG BOY BITES THE DUST

“From what witnesses said, several rioters claimed that Bob had been a member of the Confederate Army during the American Civil War.”

A Bob’s “Big Boy” statue in El Segundo, California was the scene of a peaceful protest turned violent late Wednesday afternoon.

Berta Butz, a local El Segundo resident, said that demonstrators were marching peacefully for an unknown cause when one young man, believed to be an ANTIFA member on crack, attacked Big Boy and began yelling racial epithets at him. Others quickly joined in.

From what witnesses said, several rioters claimed that Bob had been a member of the Confederate Army during the American Civil War. Other protesters began taunting the lifeless statue.

The angry group then tossed a rope over his fiberglass body and attempted to pull it down by hand. Unable to do so, they fastened their rope to the rear bumper of a protester’s Kia automobile. When the vehicle bumper came flying off, a larger Ford truck took over.

As Big Boy tumbled cheers were heard and fists raised in the air. Afterwards, one of the protesters was interviewed by an El Segundo reporter. When informed that Big Boy wasn’t actually born until 1954, and that the Civil War didn’t end until 1865, she replied to him,

“You’re kidding me, right?”

So far police have refused to press charges. When asked why, one officer wishing to remain anonymous said,

“There are no laws on the books for being stupid!”

Other than a few scrapes and scratches, Big Boy was not seriously damaged. Within minutes of the protester’s departure, a small group of senior citizens converged and had the big kid standing on his pedestal like nothing ever happened.

More as this story develops.

Author: michaeldexterhankins

ordinary average guy

One thought on “BIG BOY BITES THE DUST”

  1. I’m sure Big Boy in statue form represents spies that have been undercover for the South during the Civil War even though Big Boy himself wasn’t a part of the war in person. Kind of like the “Unknown Soldier” a hidden representation. ANTIFA has uncovered a super secret spy ring that needed to be exposed. We can now rest easy that modern day Revolutionaries are on the case. It has been proposed that the information was hidden and passed between agents inside of Big Boy Burgers although that has not been confirmed. This organization went by the code name “FAT BOYS”. Leaders of the South that were Generals only tell part of the story. Of course their statues needed to be taken down but now this ring needs to be exposed. No one suspected that cooks were part of the southern cause to take down the North. The truth is now out!!!!!! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rY0WxgSXdEE

    Like

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