A SALTY DOG

While growing up, with both parents working, my brother and I subsisted on TV dinners, and frozen food packaged in plastic bags, thawed in boiling water. I’m talking 1960 through 1970 here.

Frozen pot pies were also our favorites, especially the chicken and mixed vegetable version. We didn’t have a microwave back then, so a gas oven in our mobile home warmed things up, usually taking about 20–30 minutes. That would be considered an eternity in today’s world.

TV dinners became popular in the United States during the 1950s, when frozen food technology, home freezers, and television culture were all growing quickly.

Although frozen prepared meals existed earlier, the Swanson company helped make the idea famous in 1954 by selling a complete frozen meal in a divided aluminum tray that could be heated in the oven. Ironically, I was born in 1954.

The name “TV dinner” reflected the new habit of families eating conveniently prepared meals while watching television, which had become a major part of American home life. Early TV dinners often included turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, peas, and dessert, and were marketed as modern, time-saving meals for busy households.

Over time, TV dinners changed from simple frozen trays into a wide variety of microwaveable meals, including healthier options, international dishes, and single-serve convenience foods.

Today, TV dinners are remembered as a symbol of postwar American consumer culture and the growing demand for quick, easy meals. For me, they are remembered as something that I could even make.

The other day, I was in the frozen food section of Albertson’s and decided to see what’s now offered in prepared meals. Swanson and Banquet still make them with an unlimited variety compared to when Mom did her shopping.

Lean Cuisine must have at least 30 different frozen food meals to choose from, with some sounding quite delicious, such as Steak Portabella. Checking the calorie and sodium content, I was astonished by how much salt this dinner had, 800 milligrams. That’s enough to ‘cure’ my heart, lungs, and kidneys in one sitting. Chicken Parmesan was another.

After looking at several other such meals, including the Swanson pot pies we ate as kids, I found that sodium was very high in almost all of them. I can only imagine how many people eat these things and still use a saltshaker. The term “Salt Whore” takes on a whole different meaning here.

That term was humorously used by a late friend of mine to describe someone who “bogarts” or holds hostage the saltshaker during a meal. Rod was an ex-hippie, and he still used some of his creative language up until the day he died.

“A Salty Dog” is a song by Procol Harum. Each time I hear it, I think of my late friend. Rod Sanborn was a big guy, stopping by at lunchtime on occasion when Jim and I were preparing to eat.

Rather than have one turkey or chicken pot pie, he’d have two. Our mother could never figure out why we went through so many. We generally hid the empty tins at the bottom of the trash can.

A few months ago, at a local eatery here in town, some friends ordered the restaurant’s favorite, homemade chicken pot pie. When the server asked for my order, I initially said “Salty dog,” then changed it to “Veggie omelet.” I could see that this employee was initially confused, but she never questioned me. It would’ve taken 10 minutes to explain things.

Salty dog is now my term for any pot pie, because almost all are laced with salt. I also came up with another line for those eating at Rusty’s. That’s my favorite spot for breakfast.

When the delicious “Rusty Special” is ordered, make sure to ask for a side of WD40. The first time I did, the server thought for a few seconds, smiled, and then said, “That’s a good one!”

As lame a joke as it is, my late friend would be proud of me.