A friend gave me a novelty Alaska license plate saying Old Fart and I have it hanging on my garage wall. The phrase ‘Old Fart’ is a humorous slang term for an older person, often used teasingly to suggest someone is aging, stubborn, or a little cranky. I know many guys and gals fitting that description including myself.
Next to it is a Florida plate reading Arrive Alive printed in orange and black. This license plate is all dented and banged up after evidently surviving an accident. It’s one of those material items that speaks to me, saying “Ouch” each time I look at it.
My wife added her own novelty plate. It’s an Arizona version saying Mamacita. This means something like little mama in Spanish, but in everyday use it often means pretty lady, sweetheart, or attractive woman. A friend in Alaska, Janice Cross, always calls Joleen that and I must agree.
My garage wall is a poor man’s art gallery with a Dodge Challenger poster and a signed Rick Mears Pennzoil poster. Most young gearheads probably don’t even know who Rick is.
I have a vintage street crossing apparatus with a chrome button to push, Harley Davidson memorabilia, Nigel Mansell signed and framed poster, TRW engine parts poster along with Sealed Power, and a giant photo of my former 1968 Plymouth GTX. After owning it for 46 years I should’ve kept that car.
A lightning Bolt tee shirt is inside a shadow box frame with a photo of my daughter, Miranda, wearing it as a night shirt. Last but not least, is a black silhouette of Spuds McKenzie.
I used the image when I did a fictitious eulogy for the famous Bud Light dog during a speech class. That speech got rousing applause from the young audience.
I’ve mentioned my Old Guys Rule tee shirts before. The kids gave me a couple for birthdays, as well as my wife, with me purchasing a few more choice ones. I like to wear them when we go out for dinner. It’s been at least a year when I walked by a table full of gals my own age and I heard one of them loudly cackle, “I don’t think so!”
She was evidently referring to the message. It’s too bad they don’t make one with Donald Trump’s caricature on the front, reading the same, because that would’ve probably had the whole table clucking. Searching through Google I found several businesses that can make exactly what I want for a decent price.
Telling my wife of my idea to have a custom-made tee with a photo of Donald Trump wearing a crown on his head, and the words Old Guys Rule written under it, she said, “You really are an onery old cuss!” I take that as a compliment because it’s better to be onery than disonery.
I like to write junk... 