EVERYDAY HOUSEWIFE

“Not any of my male friends that I’m aware of are concerned about wrinkles.”

Anthony and Gloria Aquaro – 1944

Singer and songwriter Glen Campbell had a hit tune in 1968 called “Dreams of the Everyday Housewife.” I was only 14 at the time, thus, this song and its lyrics meant little to me.

A couple of teenage girls I knew back then, undoubtedly, could relate Glen Campbell’s words to their mothers. I suppose they now do the same with their own lives. The first stanza has a powerful meaning, with the complete song a thought-provoker.

“She looks in the mirror and stares at wrinkles that weren’t there yesterday. And thinks of the young man that she almost married. What would he think if he now saw her this way?”

My mom, in comparison to the song, wasn’t an everyday housewife, although she probably desired to be such. Along with being a helpmate to Dad and a mother to my brother and me, she worked a full-time job to help make ends meet.

Housekeeping was added to this equation as well, although Jim and I helped out in this department. Despite both parents working, life wasn’t so bad for us boys. We had a tad more freedom than some kids, with them often being away.

I still recall my folks having to use Household Finance to obtain a loan, with the interest rate near 30%. That made it virtually impossible to pay this debt off, yet they somehow succeeded. Dad warned my brother and me about the pitfalls of borrowing money and told us to avoid doing so in our lives if we could.

In later years, my father mentioned that business loans were somewhat different, as long as the business owner was personally protected from litigation by placing things under a corporation. I’ve always remembered that advice — seeing it come into play several times with family and friends.

Housewife is considered a demeaning term by some left-leaning women’s rights advocates, portraying the term to mean an uneducated woman relegated to serving her husband and children with no interest in a career. I see their analysis as offensive. Stay-at-home moms should be celebrated just as much as those entering the workplace, perhaps even more.

Changing directions just a smidgen, senior citizens are constantly bombarded by commercials on television trying to hawk some type of wrinkle-erasing cream. It seems as if they’re directed at us anyway.

One such advertisement shows a daughter applying a cream under her aged father’s eyes. Before and after photos show a difference, yet small and barely readable printing at the bottom of the infomercial dictates that the result is not long-lasting.

Not any of my male friends that I’m aware of are concerned about wrinkles. Some women, on the other hand, are a different story. My mother used something called Oil of Olay. This company is now called Olay, and the product originated in South Africa. While there’s some mystique about the name, the main ingredient is simplistic lanolin. I get a dose of that every day when I wash my hands and face with soap.

Living in Arizona is hard on the skin, and one only has to look around to see the damage. I try to use skin protectants along with wearing hats to protect the sensitive scalp. Having burned my head in Hawaii years ago, I’ve never made that mistake again.

My wife always comments about a new wrinkle here or a new wrinkle there. I never see them unless she points things out. That unpreventable aging goes with a portion of the marriage vows saying, “For better or for worse.”

Looking at another set of lyrics from Glen Campbell’s song, “The photograph album she took from the closet and slowly turns the page. And picks up the crumbling flower, the first one he gave her, now withering with age.”

When a couple ties the knot, I highly doubt they’re looking down the road wondering how their mate is going to look in 50 years. That shouldn’t even enter their minds. Had that been the case, Joleen should’ve visualized a train wreck in me.

My looks have significantly changed for the worse, yet my persona remains not much different than when we married in 1977. She fared much better where aging is concerned, and her sense of humor or outlook on the future hasn’t suffered at all. Most of us geriatrics fit that bill. Our minds don’t seem to age at all, unlike our bodies.

Just recently, I read a story about a couple in New York who’ve been married for 80 years. Anthony and Gloria Aquaro are both over 100 years old and still live together in a home owned by their grandson.

Before and after photos of the couple are as expected, with time molding them into relatively healthy centenarians. Tony Aquaro had words of advice for keeping two people together for so long: “In a marriage, you can’t be a big boss. You have to respect each other’s wishes!” He went on to say that finding and keeping a good wife is the key to longevity.

Gloria mentioned that they did have disagreements, yet those arguments didn’t take precedence over their love and respect for one another. “Just never stop loving each other. I still love him as much as I did when we first met!”

Gloria Aquaro went on to explain that they were high school sweethearts and that she came to know Tony at a baseball game he was a player in. After winning the game, Tony asked for a kiss and was turned down. Despite this, it was love at first sight for both.

I can visualize Anthony Aquaro, in a croaky voice, singing the ending lines to Glen Campbell’s song and truly meaning every word of it. This stanza especially fits with many older men and women throughout the world.

“Oh, such are the dreams of the everyday housewife, you see everywhere, any time of the day. An everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me.”

Tony died in 2024 at the age of 103. Gloria resides in an assisted living facility.

LEGACY

“The way we treat people comes under this heading.”

Hobo Mark “Shoestring” Nichols

As I’ve gotten older the word legacy has become more and more important to me. What will I leave behind in my life that will positively enhance others? I find different interpretations of legacy in dictionaries and the Holy Bible.

Judaism indicates that legacy can be good or bad, with spiritual or Godly legacy foremost over that of monetary or material assets, such as real estate, stocks, and bonds. A bad father or mother can leave a blemished legacy where children are concerned. Thankfully, my parents don’t fit the bad mold and hopefully, I don’t either.

Godly legacy enriches people’s lives long after a person is gone. The way we treat others comes under this heading. I find evangelist Billy Graham and Mother Theresa fitting this definition more than anyone.

As a Christian—faith, values, and traditions much like the Jewish also take precedence over that of leaving behind wealth. Both religions make it clear that there’s nothing wrong with making sure your family is financially secure once you’re gone. Not everyone can do that.

A spiritual legacy is defined as non-material, such as stories, beliefs, values, and wisdom. That seems to fit with me, although I do strive to leave something of all three. Spiritual legacy can be left behind through videos, tapes, books, and even letters.

Being a writer, and loving to research the lives of people who have long since departed, in certain cases all I’ve uncovered is a decaying gravestone more than anything else. I find that sad.

Some of these men and women were one-time owners of huge companies, with the businesses now long gone and their establishment names no longer remembered. Other than an aging obituary telling more about their business accomplishments than anything, it appears these folks dropped off the face of the earth without leaving any lasting legacy at all. They seemingly followed the dollar more than God. I don’t want that happening to me.

Perhaps the saddest thing I’ve observed over my lifetime is encountering family and friends who’ve said to me, “I plan on letting my children make up their own minds about what religion to choose.” The scriptures don’t recommend this, with that leading me to believe these folks weren’t Bible readers, although they claimed to be. Years have now passed and I see the aftermath of their flawed philosophy. It wasn’t good in some cases although a few of these offspring finally came to their senses and saw the light.

I watch YouTube videos quite often, especially following the life of hobo “Shoestring” Mark Nichols. Mark was a military veteran and has been a hobo traveling the rails throughout the US for some time.

“Shoestring” documented his adventures via a blog he started around 1989, and then began videoing them. He had over 2,000 followers on YouTube. The man was paid well for his episodes and loved by many. In his videos, he comes across as a very caring person. In several episodes he calls out to God for help or thanks him for help received.

Mark Nichols unlike Billy Graham, Mother Theresa, or other noteworthy people still left behind a positive legacy despite his hobo lifestyle. I believe that everyone can do the same as it’s strictly a matter of choice.

Sadly, “Shoestring” suffered through cancer, diabetes, a bad back, and macular degeneration of the eyes, with liver failure believed to have led to his unexpected death. His stories live on through numerous writings and films.

I can only hope Mark Nichols knew Jesus Christ as Savior, and I believe he did, or his legacy becomes significantly dimmer. The Bible says this about legacy where our faith is concerned in Deuteronomy 6: 6 & 7 (KJV). Moses is speaking here about the Ten Commandments:

6. “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.”

7. “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up.”

If parents heed these two verses alone and pass them on as instructed, I believe the legacy left to children and grandchildren far surpasses that of wealth and prosperity.

If I’ve achieved only that much—I deem my life to be successful.